When Vulnerability Is Met with Silence

Something happened to me a few days ago that made me reflect deeply.

A memory from my young adult life—before marriage—came back to me. It wasn’t one of the cozy or comforting memories. It was painful, and I decided to share it with someone I believed would be a safe person to entrust with that important moment from my past.

I went back and forth in my mind, wondering whether I should share it at all. Eventually, I decided to go for it—to be brave.

I shared the story through a text message, thinking it might create an opportunity for us to exchange experiences, connect, and perhaps understand one another more deeply.

The response I received?

None.

Zero.

Silence.

Not even a simple reaction acknowledging that my message had been read.

Of course, I felt hurt and disappointed. I also felt deeply let down.

There are things that need to be talked about and shared, especially with those who have witnessed different seasons of our lives. Speaking about the experiences that have touched our hearts and souls is important—particularly when those experiences carry pain, hardship, or wounds that have never completely disappeared.

When we build barriers around those parts of our lives, it can become difficult to move forward.

I have thought a lot about that incident since it happened. Although it doesn’t really bother me anymore, it left an imprint on my heart.

It also reminded me that when the acceptance, love or/and support we hope to receive from another person doesn’t come, we must be careful not to turn their silence into a judgment of our worth. We are still called to look upon ourselves with love and compassion. We are still worthy of acceptance, tenderness, and understanding—even as we question, search, and struggle to find peace. I believe we remain held by God’s love, a love greater than any one person’s ability—or inability—to respond.

Some of my favorite moments in life are moments of genuine connection—connecting with other human beings who, like me, have experienced all kinds of joys, struggles, losses, and lessons.

People who aren’t afraid to share.

People who are willing to listen.

People who understand that when someone entrusts us with a vulnerable part of their story, it is something sacred.

When we engage in conversation with others, I believe it is important to see a little of ourselves in them and to think, “What an honor that you have entrusted me with this portion of your heart.”

May we become more human with each passing day.

May we learn to love ourselves and others more deeply.

May we offer one another the acceptance and compassion we all need as we make our way through life.

And may we truly see the people around us.

Because sometimes, all we need is for someone to say:

“I see you.”