The Reality of Self-Care When Life Is Hard ✨
Self-care has become a buzzword in our social media centered culture. Scroll through Instagram, and you’ll find images of bubble baths, green smoothies, and spa retreats, all neatly packaged as the “solution” to stress. But when life is truly overwhelming—when grief, illness, financial struggles, or exhaustion weigh us down—this glossy picture of self-care can feel out of touch, even on most days, discouraging.
Our society romanticizes self care, believe me, I’m all in for self care, it’s so important, and I think self care is crucial for survival, but we must be realistic about our approach, and reaction to it especially when life is hard.
Self care doesn’t always look “pretty.” Self care sometimes is crying in the shower, sitting on the deck, patio, or anywhere with natural light and alone without interruption.
Self care might even be: asking for help! This is huge, and so hard to do at times because our natural way of being is to portray the idea that we are heroes in our own stories, when in reality we need others to help us carry the load of life.
Self care might also look like finally having the time to put laundry away, and to tidy up the house just because it makes us feel better when that’s the only thing we can control in our lives for the time being. I have a story to share about that in a later blog post, a life lesson I learned at an early age from my amazing mom in a completely unintentional way.
When life is overwhelming, self care is not about making sure you eat the right amount of protein, or that you crunch your daily exercise routines (a simple leisure walk might do), or that you drink a morning cleansing tea. I am not dismissing that idea, those are also great, but I’m focusing right now in self care when life not only feels overwhelming, but when life IS overwhelming.
Under these circumstances, self care might look like: remembering to take your pills (and/or vitamins), paying bills on time, making a doctor’s appointment, and doing anything we’ve put off because, well, life just happens to be that way sometimes. These are not glamorous, but they are deeply caring acts.
There is no “right” way to practice self care. On the hardest days, simply eating something, resting for a bit, or sending a text to a friend is enough. We are not failing; we are human!
Real self-care shifts with the season we are in. Some days it’s exercise; other days it’s staying in bed a little longer. Flexibility is not weakness—it’s wisdom, and we must listen to ourselves, not the outside noise, and distractions of social media.
A gentle reminder to move forward.
Maybe society has it backwards. Self-care isn’t about creating a picture-perfect life—it’s about sustaining yourself through the imperfect one. When life is hard, self-care doesn’t need to be romanticized. It just needs to be enough to keep you going.
My dearest gentle, messy, humans— listening to yourself is the real self-care. Honor your pace, and give yourself permission to care in the way you need most.
My personal self care lately looks like this:
✨morning coffee by myself, usually in the quiet of my car on the way to work, sometimes I even park in an empty parking lot to sip my favorite drink and take the day in.
✨eating nutritious food, even if it’s simple foods/snacks. Meals don’t have to be complicated and glamorous to be nutritious. When I eat good food, I feel better.
✨going on walks, even if it’s going around the block one time. Movement, and fresh air does wonders to my mind and body.
✨connection with friends. This has saved me, and along with practicing gratitude through faith, the people in my life have anchored me.
If life feels hard, unfair, and challenging right now, I hope you feel my support and love.
Someone, somewhere sees the real you, even in the quiet moments. ❤️
